The Days Are Long, But the Years Are Short

Motherhood has been both the greatest blessing and the greatest challenge of my life.

I absolutely love being a mum to four amazing little humans, but let’s be honest… it isn’t easy. And if I’m being completely honest, I think we second-guess ourselves constantly.

Did I make the right choice?
Should I have done that differently?
Should I have said yes instead of no?
Am I doing enough?

The list goes on.

Just this morning, I found myself drowning in those familiar feelings of mum guilt.

It was cold, dark and rainy. The kind of morning where every part of you wants to stay tucked under the blankets with your children, keep them warm and close, and forget about the outside world for a little while.

Last night, we had decided they would stay home. Then this morning, Mr 7’s teacher mentioned that she was covering something important today that she hadn’t covered yesterday.

And just like that, I changed my mind.

They should go.

But as they got ready for school, I felt a lump in my throat.

I was torn between what I wanted to do and what I felt I had to do.

And when they finally left, the regret hit me.

I regretted not keeping them home.

I regretted not keeping them warm and close.

I regretted not having that lazy morning together — the kind where we could make popcorn, do some homework, play, laugh and simply enjoy being together.

For a moment, I wanted to press pause on everything.

Because as I sat playing with little Miss 10 Months, I couldn’t stop thinking about how quickly time is passing.

They were all this little once.

It feels like just yesterday I was holding each of them as tiny babies. And now I have a seven-year-old, a growing family, and a little baby in my arms who somehow seems to be changing every single day.

People always say, “The days are long, but the years are short.”

I never really understood it until I became a mum.

Some days feel incredibly long. Some days feel like they will never end.

But somehow, the years are flying by.

And sometimes, all I want to do is hold them a little tighter.

A little longer.

Keep them close for just one more minute.

Because I know that one day, they won’t need me in quite the same way they do now.

And that thought breaks my heart a little.

Mum guilt is a strange thing.

You can love your children with every piece of your heart and still wonder if you’re getting it wrong.

You can make a perfectly reasonable decision and then spend hours wondering if you should have made the opposite one.

You can know, logically, that your children are exactly where they need to be — and still miss them terribly the moment they walk out the door.

So this morning, I made myself a little promise.

I’ll fetch them early.

We’ll go somewhere fun. We’ll play. We’ll laugh. Maybe we’ll get something yummy. And for a few hours, I’ll stop worrying about whether I’m doing motherhood “right” and simply enjoy being their mum.

Maybe I’ll even earn a little:

“Wow, Mum. You’re really cool.”

And honestly, I’ll take it.

Because I’m learning that motherhood isn’t about getting every decision right.

It’s about loving them fiercely, showing up, trying again when you get it wrong, and making the most of the moments you do have.

I don’t have all the answers.

I second-guess myself.

I worry.

I feel guilty.

I wonder if I could have done things differently.

But through all of it, I hope my children always know one thing:

They are deeply, completely and endlessly loved.

And perhaps that’s enough.

Because these little people won’t stay little forever.

So today, I’m going to stop counting the things I think I got wrong and start counting the moments I get to have with them.

The cuddles.

The laughter.

The messy moments.

The popcorn.

The little hands reaching for mine.

The ordinary days that, one day, I’ll probably wish I could have back.

Because the days may be long…

but these years really are so very short.